1537 Pappersgatan

With good reason...

2011-07-22T05:06:00.000-07:00

I just can't think of anything much to say.

There hasn't been much painting either. The service industry, I can only conclude, mentally exhausts me to the point where I have no creative energy... or at the very least no patience. Anyway, this got started for something but I tired before I was happy enough with it to be used for that particular purpose...

A cloud of flies or a lone bee

2011-06-26T09:53:00.000-07:00

That's the kind of choice you have to make when you want to be outside during the summer. You can't not have either but you can have both. Unless its very windy or raining but they stay at home during such conditions for the same reasons I do. The real question is, do you want to be furious or terrified? Complicating things; you're guaranteed flies for the length of you walk while the bee may or may not come and will then stalk you for an unknown distance. Tricky.

Waiting for Quarantine II load. I can't remember liking or disliking the first so I can't have hated it. But it's a ship in quarantine cause of a roaming killer virus, it sounds exciting, right? Besides, Solsidan is way inferior to Mäklarna.

Why are you here?

2011-05-31T04:08:00.000-07:00

I wish we could all go home happy today and live a long time.

Where did it go?

2011-05-16T07:47:00.001-07:00

I have misplaced my nap-hour! And I had been snug just thinking about it.

What makes me not snug?

That.
And worrying. Been doing some of that lately.

Readheads (insert rock sign because on a macBook the / only goes one way...

2011-05-09T16:02:00.000-07:00

Is it raining yet?

2011-05-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

Snug in my bedroom, up until a moment ago reassured by the rain because everyone knows that if it's raining you don't have to be outside doing stuff like mocking out the stables or throwing away old bones (littering the lawn). You don't even have to exercise. But now the rain has stopped and I'm forced to get off the computer and at least attempt to achieve a sense of usefulness.

Painting is fun though, and time flies...

25 years and 10 days...

2011-04-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

That's how old I am. So far, being 24 was far superior to being 25.

Svansen

2011-04-09T06:22:00.000-07:00

Hihihi, he's coming for you!

Skam den som ger sig...

2011-04-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

I was ready to give up on this last week but while there is constructive criticism the eager to learn must continue to construct.

Coz, if you're still reading this blog, I intend to tackle Svansen next. Or perhaps the next after next but he will be tackled. Vad hade vi kommit fram till? Hade du kvar historien?

Thunder

2011-03-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

Semi-hanging with Tiny, waiting for people. We're watching Tropic Thunder. I seem to remember I didn't like it much but the trailer with black RDJ is just more than I can resist. I mean, who would not want to see that? I don't know. Someone strange.

What else have we done today? I started reading Into the Wild. As anticipated, my eyes started watering before I even opened the book. It has the Everest-effect on me. Then, I actually made it to spinning class and it was a good day for spinning, as it turns out. Good for me. More... it's been really sunny. Spring sunny. Open jacket, hat off still too hot sunny. Totally acceptable.

Spent the rest of the day up until now drawing and re-drawing on this never-ending project (click to embiggen). Every time I think I've had it and to hell with it it gives me a little something and then I have to keep going.

My current issue is with the water. Earlier today the water was done but then I changed the shade of highlights elsewhere and I had to redo it and now it wont work.

Anyway, Karin is bringing me Salmiakki. That had nothing to do with anything.

I had a mind to write a little review on Season of the Witch but it'll have to wait until another day because the thought of Salmiakki has chased most of the judgment out of me.

What do you know. Salmiakki had a place in all of this, after all.

41 Questions

2011-03-18T06:14:00.000-07:00

I blame facebook for neglecting Paperstreet. I figure there's only so much people could want to know about my comings and goings. On the other hand this isn't a very informative blog. I usually lean towards the impersonal, this being instinctive rather than a strategy of some sort. Today marks the exception then, because I just did a personality test and the results made me giggle so I thought I'd share. It's only 41 questions and fairly respectable for being the free kind if anyone's interested in filling it out for her- or himself.

Let's break it down:

'Quiet idealistic thinkers'
I am the battlefield of a great clash between idealism and pragmatism but as of yet, I remain an idealist. It's also true that I spend a lot of time thinking and (although not without exception) a lot of time being quiet as long as the situation does not require me to speak.

'Wants to serve mankind'
Haha! What the hell kind of answer is that? Instinctively, the thought of serving anything makes me hiss and spit in the most dignified way imaginable. But if I flip this particular coin, the obverse side is adorned with a carving in the likeness of myself, wearing a crown and looking smug in profile. If some philosophers are to be believed, we can't help being self-serving but wanting to be self-serving is another matter entirely. Therefore, I will accept this answer, albeit through a veil of reserved suspicion.

'Strives to live up to her values which tend to be exhaustive and carefully deliberated'
True. It's important to be consistent and act according to your principles. Not to be confused with simply being stubborn, what's important is; you can't change your principles for convenience sake.

'Extremely loyal'
Mostly true. This ties in with the above and below answers.

'Flexible and relaxed as long as they perceive no threat to their core values'
I suspect this is true if they mean by it what I think they mean by it. It's certainly hard to offend me with opinions on topics/issues not directly related to myself. I will probably judge, but I'm not likely to get very worked up about it. I file this under 'diplomatic skill', although I can't say I particularly like confrontations either.

'Typically talented writers'
If this is the kind way of saying "not good with numbers" I understand what they're doing. And no, it doesn't offend me. In a way though, it makes sense. Introvert people - prone to thinking a lot and having a shitload of opinions that they are uncomfortable with voicing out loud - might choose to express themselves in writing and therefore be more likely to have developed some skill in the craft.

'Quick-witted with an ability to spot new opportunities'
Not being verbally skilled, I can't own the "quick-witted" part of that sentence. I'll say though, not that you'd know, but I do sometimes have witty thoughts! As for the other part, I like doing things differently but I doubt much of that could be applied in a professional setting. I guess you could say I am adventurous but impractical.

'Wants to understand and help others'
Yes, but in a distant kind of way. I don't want people to feel bad, even though I'm not in possession of a nursing nature as such.

Notably, there's no mention of negative sides of a personality. It's designed to give you a hint of what profession might suit you. Interestingly, few of the professions suggested seem like something I'd be good at.

Anyway, it was fun.

Psalm 21, utan 1 rätt

2011-02-07T09:15:00.000-08:00

I only bring this up as a social service. Psalm 21 is a Swedish horror, likely fancying itself a psychological thriller. It's not though. The protagonist in this lovely flick, a priest with a backslick , has been plagued by nightmares in which his long dead mother suddenly turns into something from the Grudge. You know the look; drooly black mouth, rat eyes and pasty skin.

When his father, also a priest, mysteriously drowns, the son goes to investigate. Now I'm not sure if that was his original intent because there was so much badness distracting me but anyways off he goes.

It's quite possible the audience is told exactly where in Sweden his father lived but if not one can still conclude from the gloomy atmosphere, stupid looking people, shotguns, plaid vests and rubber boots that it's somewhere up north... because that's just how we look up here.

Arriving to wherever, the priests son who's a priest with a backslick finds a house and a barn full of people with 70s haircuts. These people supposedly knew his father and his grandmothers ghost tells him one of them killed him. At least that's how I remember it. Suddenly he has an axe and is going for the head of the father of the barn family. There's stories of incest and scissor murders being told. There's a dead daddy priest, also rocking the Grudge style which I must say does not make him very original in this film, talking about hell and how backslick son is going there for telling the truth. But he doesn't go to hell he goes home where he talks to his congregation about the evils of religion. Looking like a crackhead all the while.

The End.

Swoon

2011-01-20T09:25:00.000-08:00

Myself has a way of jamming sticks into her own wheel. I'm on to her though. Sharp as hell. Dead Eye, Moonshine and a steady hand.

Had to call my father this morning to ask if it was indeed my brothers birthday (it is) and we whined about the cold a little. Then I found this video today from last summer and look how green it is! Right now, it's awesomely hard to imagine it ever gets that green. A plus here is my lovely video voice, made even worse by the fact that I'm talking to animals but it's still worth it for the snippet of summer...

Guilt trips

2011-01-19T00:48:00.000-08:00

Undead Nightmare is not a disappointment. Full of weird shit and I felt my pulse half the time. Unlike the original it brings out the sadistic side though, there's just something so right about killing zombies. Not other things though, was morally ambushed and sent on a guilt trip after exterminating all but one of the sasqwatch.

If you ever play UD and come upon this challenge, know that the last of the sasqwatch will be sitting under a tree, crying, begging you to kill him because you killed all of his kind.

That was definitely the low point so far, not nice Rockstar.

The best was John Marsden making a comment to the effect of "what kind of sick bastard would enjoy that!?" when encountering the filmmaker out to make a zombie flick. Yes indeed.

Made an appointment to get my eyes checked. Apparently there is no category for people who has not previously been wearing glasses or contacts and want an eye examination. 2 weeks waiting too, I already feel like I'm not cut out for glasses.

Having lunch with Malin today but before that I have to go to the blood center and the last few times have not been great. I have a feeling they might dump me if we can't work it out today. The thing is, when it's winter I'm going to be cold. I should only go at summer, on hot days. That would work. For sure.

Bring on the zombie donkey

2011-01-18T07:22:00.000-08:00

Dear self...

2011-01-03T07:18:00.000-08:00

... why do you leave things till the last moment?

Typing away at my victimology essay. Was, as per usual, not able to pick simple, straightforward subject but had to go for the most abstract, convention hoarded, soft-lawed, politically whistlerandomtunedontknowhwatyouretalkingabout issue I could almost but, clearly, not quite think of. 44 hours before deadline and here I am not making sense. Fuck.

And I searched and stared but only the river stared back....

Remember this?

2010-12-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

Missing summer now. From having a really hard time falling asleep and staying a sleep for the past month, the last three days I've hardly been able to stay awake until 10 and it's still a struggle to get up at 9. I'll prop myself up on an elbow and then just stare at the fall for 15 minutes before I can force myself out of bed. It takes another two hours to work up the energy to spread butter on a piece of bread (just forget the cheese). That's December for you.

Going back to Umeå on Monday to start working on my essay. That'll be a trip. Sigh.

Rare beauty

2010-12-24T04:41:00.000-08:00

I love my family, behold, a Christmas tree! Vega and mum found this beauty behind the house. I especially like the decorations, adorable. Truth is we have walked far longer and ended up with far uglier trees in the past.

Other than that I'm really tired and Christmas food smell bad.

Last night, on our two hour drive home, stuffed into a car without heating in -20 dC, we got to talking about The story of Anvil so now I'm going to watch it before cousins and grandparents arrive. For anyone who hasn't seen it; do, it is truly amazing.

Fatman!

2010-12-16T08:28:00.001-08:00

Geek in the Dark

2010-12-15T13:18:00.000-08:00

Today I spent what daylight hours we still get inside, rewriting an exam for my father. It is a tedious task and more time consuming than what you might think, especially since I'm not exactly familiar with the subject and he didn't include the key because the correct answers are all 'in his head'. Fair enough. To avoid any serious fits of exasperation I had some entertainment in the periphery. Nothing inspires relaxation quite like Patrick Bateman's psychotic ramblings.

After dinner I felt restless and not at all very melancholy so I went out for a walk. For whatever reason, when it's dark outside, I don't like walking along the river like I usually do. There's too much people but not enough people... somehow. Instead I tried a new route, ended up on an industrial street across the river that never seemed to end so I decided to cut across the Island on my way home rather than taking the long way around, through the city center.

I like the Island, or Ön as Umeborna has creatively named it. There's a cozy mud track that runs through a little forest right along the river the entire length of the island, I went running there a few times last spring. Today it was reduced to a tiny path someone had trampled through the snow and I stood there for a while under a street light and stared into the darkness, contemplating. I'm a bit afraid of the dark, you see. Quite afraid actually. The thing is though, forests, mountains and alluring paths are exactly the kind of things I find hard to resist. Maybe it's the bush in my blood or a wandering - yet ironically, strangely lazy - spirit, but I see something like that and I want to go there. Sometimes, I even cry a little when I see mountains on TV. Anyway, fear of the dark < cozy path. As a compromise I switched off my ipod, just in case something was going to sneak up on me, then off I went. This is not one of those stories where something actually happens that made it worth reading through all this nonsense by the way. Sorry about that. My walk through the woods was quite uneventful.

The strange things is, I spend quite a lot of time trying to figure out what one must do to be happy. I look at what I think is happy, content people and wonder what the fuck it is about their lives that's so much better than mine, it's not like I have a whole lot to complain about. Nor am I always miserable -I should clarify- but I feel a bit pointless sometimes. A lot of the time, actually. Stumbling through the dark today I was probably the most happy I've been in a month. It's quite amazing. Is it all a matter of tricking your brain into having the right reaction, to send out perfectly balanced signals telling you how to feel? A peaceful mind and a bit of adrenaline coursing through the bloodstream, then.

Worth it?

2010-12-14T04:05:00.000-08:00

It is really quite cold.

If you can't deliver...

2010-12-10T09:24:00.000-08:00

...T3 will. Bye bye Bahnhof.

Still feeling out of sorts. I've been staring at the screen for 20 minutes now trying to think of something worth writing about but nothing comes to mind. Making a gingerbread house tomorrow, alone it looks like. Had some very grand plans for this year but there's not enough energy to pull off greatness. Mediocre, prepared to be shaped in cookies.

Traditions

2010-12-05T03:59:00.000-08:00

Gearing up for our annual holiday screening of Die Hard.

Not that I'm not looking forward to the ever excellent Die Hard, but right now I'm looking forward to this a little bit more;

Aronofsky + Natalie Portman + ballerinas + creepy swans = or possibly > Die Hard II, and I really like Die Hard II

Is this a test, sir?

2010-12-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

Clearly.

Tread softly

2010-11-28T10:51:00.000-08:00

We've been cooing over Christian Bale. Makes a good evening.

In Equilibrium, Sean Bean plays a 'sense offender' who fancies Yeats;

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

In Game of Thrones Sean Bean will be playing Ned Stark who quite possibly has never heard of Yeats nor would find him to his liking if he had. Yeats really had nothing to do with this, I just wanted to share the new teaser from HBO:

Crippled communication but look it's snowing!

2010-11-26T01:20:00.001-08:00

For the past few days Kollektivet has been surviving without internet access. Or nearly, there's been some phone tethering and stealing from neighbors to get by. I don't know if this just happened to coincide with a week where I have been in a shitty mood or if the lack of internet and slow service on part of our ISP has made my mood shitty but either way it's not been a good combination. The best part of every day has been going to sleep at night.

Today Malin and I were going to get licorice flavored mulled wine and scout for a dress her sister has had her eye on but it's snowing, windy and relatively cold so we decided to wait until tomorrow. Instead we're playing badminton, about time too since my right butt cheek seems to have recovered since last time. Because of the whole internet issue I haven't been able to watch the Office this morning but Nicklas took pity on me so I'm going over there before the badminton. After the badminton we're going to a non-birthday party. And now I'm doing some flat cleaning.

Half moon Monday

2010-11-15T13:08:00.000-08:00

What a productive day. Was going to catch up on a lot of reading. I would read maybe half of all the stuff I've missed. I didn't though. I read like 4 pages and a few of the orange boxes because they have fun trivia.

Thanks to Malin I at least made it to IKSU, much needed after a weekend of... let's see; ice cream with strawberries, vegetable pie, cookies, muffins, chocolate, doodles, more chocolate, more doodles, more pie and more cookies. I blame mum, grandmother, Tiny and myself. Not exactly in that order.

The rest of the day I spent drinking coffee and playing with my tablet. We have moved on from smudge because I wanted something with color. It's not a lot of color and most of them are muted anyway but I put them in there!

Just so you know, it is totally ok for me to be 24 and paint swords and dragons and other geeky shit. That's right. I'm a geek and I am fine with it.

This particular dragon can be read about in The Malazan Book of the Fallen. The floating rock next to the moon is called Moon's Spawn, people live there, and the dragon.

2010-11-13T05:06:00.000-08:00

Skickat från min HTC

Sweet Eeyore

2010-11-12T01:41:00.000-08:00

Hemmislakebound

2010-11-11T14:03:00.000-08:00

I'm reluctant to make a new post so soon after the awesome carrot took its place in the spotlight. That carrot had no equal in Halloween weirdness.

There's been more smudging and I have been recruited to make a tattoo design. Text only, don't worry.

Going home this weekend. Missing things. Had a crappy day. I'd quote some appropriate Radiohead song but I'm going torso hunting on the internetz. If I don't die on the bus ride home or some such I will be kissing and hugging my beloved puppy by tomorrow afternoon... feeling better already.

While some grow apart...

2010-11-11T11:04:00.000-08:00

...others would have their fate entwined

A game called smudge

2010-11-08T13:26:00.000-08:00

In an attempt to humor myself for a few hours between my one lecture of the day and spinning class I decided to try and draw my puppy. This task rightfully belongs to cousin Anna - who is absolutely amazing at dog portraits - but sadly no masterpiece has been forthcoming. Looking at pictures of him I started to imagine how angry and frustrated I would get and how long it would take and how no matter how much effort I put into it it wouldn't be any good. You see, unlike cousin Anna, I suck at catching the character of things. I'm more of a chairs and houses type of artists... actually, I'm not very good at angles so that's not it either. Let's just say that painting things that aren't real is to my advantage. Vega is very real, and amazingly cute if you didn't know. Anyway, I gave up before I began and started doodling in PS. I once mentioned how the "smudge" tool is somewhat shameful to use. I'm not entirely sure why but I guess it can get to be a little too much. Smudge is very addictive. I love smudge. So, with all the shame and addiction, I have tried to not use it at all. Then today as I was doodling I convinced myself that the smudge tool is only shameful if you (over)use it to enhance an otherwise properly drawn image and that it would therefore be totally ok to draw an entire painting using only the smudge tool.

Click to embiggen.

For those not familiar with PS the smudge tool is the cg version of finger painting. I wanted to do wings so I went with an angel and since I recently watched Gabriel it had to be an arch angel and an arch angel needs something to slay. Actually I don't know anything about all that but it seemed like a reasonable assumption.

The Walking Dead and the Drunken Bride

2010-11-07T11:39:00.000-08:00

More of Halloween resurfacing, I vaguely remember this picture being taken and Malin, who was with me, somehow escaping the attention of the small woman with the huge camera. Just now noticed that I looked slightly trannyish with those eyebrows. Funny thing is after an hour or so I was quite used to them. For the curious there's a few other familiar faces to be spotted in the "vimmell" section over on Cover Clubs site.

But enough about the living.

For someone with an invisible ear devoted solely to snapping up zombie news I'd heard surprisingly little of this show until just a few months ago.

Story-wise, the first episode is eerily familiar. Sheriff gets shot on duty and wakes up in the hospital x-days later only to find the place deserted (well, sort of deserted). Post-zombie apocalypse, small groups of survivors trying not to get eaten while attempting to reach the safe zone set up by whomever, wherever.

The depiction of the zombies themselves is old school and safe. Unlike some people, I'm not strictly against the running zombie. The truth is they're fucking terrifying and if the zombie apocalypse ever comes to the real world, I'll be a hell of a lot more freaked out if they're athletic and stuff. That said, the classic slow moving and predicable zombie can afford to be a little less scary because it has the kind of charisma the agile zombie can only dream of. The walking dead in The Walking Dead is about as languid as they get. As must surely be part of the appeal of the whole zombie culture, you truly feel like you could be the one walking around with a shovel, bashing zombie heads in... at least while they're not in a group. Not that you would want to but they're just slow enough you believe you could manage if you really had to.

What sets The Walking Dead apart however, is the atmosphere. I'm not going into a douche rant but the photography is beautifully cinematic, you can pretty much hear the dollars trickle away and it's easy to forget your watching a tv-series about zombies (might be Frank Darabont failed to make the transition from Oscar material to tv) . Other mood setters include the pace which is relatively slow for a tv-series but trust me, you wont mind and the extra minutes spent on building the mood does not greatly interfere with the amount of guts and brains flying around. There's also a subtle sadness to everything which is helpful should you want to imagine what a huge fucking tragedy something like a zombie apocalypse would actually be, it is, after all, not all about the canned food and the zombie killing.

All in all, damn promising. I should warn pony-lovers about the first episode though, heavy stuff.

Halloween

2010-11-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

It came and went. Kollektivet Geo was hosting, we had decorations of varying beauty, pumpkin Pie by Tiny and some scary looking brew that contained unknown amounts of alcohol. All in all I think people were happy with how it went.

Pictured here is myself, Tiny and Elin.

Now I need to get back to my lecture notes. It feels like these exams are coming on more and more frequently.

Bugs

2010-10-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

Drama at Kollektivet Geo. Not one but a disheartening number of bugs where found in my bedroom yesterday. First there was one on the pillow, then another... one on the floor, more on the floor. Lots under the bed. In these crazy times, I had to conclude that it was the fretted bed bugs come to suck my blood at night. Trembling knees. Instinctive mummy calls being made. Dragged Tiny into panic mode, was myself something of a role model for said mode. Beds were flipped, frames were unhinged, corners were poked. After that, we went googling. There was some uncertainties so I crawled around the kitchen looking for a specimen. Careful inspection ensued. Bug had wings, bed bugs don't. Crisis appears to have been averted. We believe the source to have been the living room carpet which - since it got too dirty to leave out - has been rolled up under my bed. It's made of wool, apparently. Our google research generated descriptions of another bug (that also had some of the correct physical attributes) and this bugs has a thing for wool.

Hopefully there wont be any more bugs until spring.

tihihi...

2010-10-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

It's just wont stop being funny.

What you don't want

2010-10-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Saturday. All week I've had my sights on going out but the rest of my world was less enthusiastic... except for Elin, to her credit, but we're a disastrous party crew. Instead I've been catching up on Californication which is as good a waste of time as anything, and a waste of time it certainly is. Lately, everything feels like a waste of time. In fact, most of my nearly 25 years is starting to feel like a waste of time and all that wasted time somehow became a wasted life. This is not entirely fair of course, there are simply certain things one must go through to get anywhere and I've checked at least a few of those off the list.

Anyway, to battle my sour mood I decided to go out and buy some chocolate but as I got to the store I realized it wasn't enough so I kept on walking. Instead of hurrying along, like I always do, I took my sweet time. At first it was weird because I felt certain that whatever people I came across could tell that I was wandering aimlessly, then I realized it was stupid and that for all they knew I was going all sorts of important places. Most likely, I was the only one in the world who knew that I had no idea where I was going.

The main thing, I believe, is that I am getting too comfortable here, the ripples have faded and just maybe that means I should move on. I would feel a lot better about doing that if the future felt like anything but time I haven't had the chance to waste yet. Also worth considering is that I've tried relocating myself a few times and it all comes back to this eventually. I think I need to reconsider myself and make a fucking plan or something. If you don't know what you want you'll end up with a lot of things you don't, as a very wise and quotable Chuck once wrote.

Improved conditions

2010-10-22T12:13:00.000-07:00

Forget last week, forget all about wet feet and shriveled buttocks because today the snow is dry and crunchy and the world smells like ice. That and Tiny made cookies, chocolate chip cookies.

From here to where?

2010-10-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling melancholic. It's been creeping up on me in the last few weeks. In weak moments I allow myself to think too much and reflecting on things is clearly bad for me.

I don't know what I am I don't know where I've been
human junk just words and so much skin
stick my hands through the cage of this endless routine
just some flesh caught in this big broken machine

I'm losing ground
you know how this world can beat you down
I'm made of clay
I fear I'm the only one who thinks this way

I'm always falling down the same hill
bamboo puncturing this skin
and nothing comes bleeding out of me just like a waterfall I'm drowning in
2 feet below the surface I can still make out your wavy face
and if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place

I do not want this
don't you tell me how I feel
you don't know just how I feel

I stay inside my bed
I have lived so many lives all in my head
don't tell me that you care
there really isn't anything, is there?

and oh so sick I am
and maybe I don't have a choice
and maybe that is all I have
and maybe this is a cry for help

I do not want this
don't you tell me how I feel
you don't know just how I feel

I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters

-nin

Epic shoes

2010-10-19T05:19:00.000-07:00

I've never seen anything like it, how many levels of awesome are they made up of? Hard to know, unfortunately they are also made of leather and this is known fact so not for me. Fuck.

Resisting hamburgers = not hard. Resisting awesome shoes = only possible because personality consists of 3/4 stubbornness.

Winter is coming

2010-10-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

It's cold outside, below freezing, and the skin on my legs is tingling even though I'm wearing a pair of extra thick pantyhose. Yesterday the snow was not sailing gently down from the silvery heavens but pouring down like half-whipped cream. Two dozen or two thousand soaked and shivering students rediscovered a familiar loathing for everything cold and wet, and in the city of bicycles men and women of all ages were forced to walk. At this time of the year, surviving the winter seems impossible. We begin to question why anyone with a choice would live this close to the polar circle, this far from anyplace warm. I remember my chinese neighbor in London who went to Sweden over New Years and said it was nice but that she cried a few times because it was too cold.

Yes, winter is coming. The days of drinking JD&Diet Coke on verandas, listening to the crashing waves and local cover bands while hugging blond friends (in this case, the lovely Ingrid) is long gone. Today it might be too cold, and it's going to be a hell of a lot colder, but give it a few months and everyone will be just comfortable enough, only occasionally whining and dreaming of lands where the waves can be heard all year round.

Blood and Sand

2010-10-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

Haters, as you please. Everything may be in excess but a true believer will find a story beating like the heart of a blue whale beneath the splatter (and beyond the naked fighting). Highly addictive, slightly offensive and to finer folks what might be considered a guilty pleasure. As for myself it's not like I have a reputation for good taste to protect.

That and I think they are going to be sorry if they replace Andy Whitfield for the second season, greatly underestimating his pull, that would be.

Nostalgia

2010-09-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

I found this picture while looking for a certain episode of a certain series that I KNOW I've seen lying around somewhere but of course now that I want to see it (badly) it's disappeared.

Anyway, here we have Puppy Linda on the left and the other Linda (these days known as Wounded Moose) on the right. We were going to a Halloween party... it wasn't such a great night and the hangover was brutal but we had a good time getting ready. The photographer is my dad who was kind enough to pick us up and drive us to our party in Piteå. What I'm feeling nostalgic about (aside from missing Linda who's moved to the big city) is the apartment. It was a really nice apartment. Just look at that wallpaper... it's my wet dream of wallpapers... no, correction, my wet dream wallpaper would probably have some orange detail but it's pretty damn close.

Oh and you should not ever see the pantyhose I wore that night...

My space

2010-09-28T10:44:00.001-07:00

Needed for intense studying;
- lots of colorful pencils
- blank, white paper for making notes and drawing tiny pictures summarizing and symbolizing whatever it is that I'm trying to remember (see below)
- coffee
- tobacco
- course literature
- computer for looking things up on wikipedia (and the odd lecture note)
- computer for playing youtube videos
- ipod to close out noise
- speakers to create noise

Items still under consideration;
- chocolate
- funny looking Goblin beer I found in the fridge

Rousseau ^^

Plato^^

Locke^^ (maybe not the most obvious but I'm thinking Lost and you can see the smoke monster lurking there behind the tree)

Hobbes^^ (It's a hobbit!)

Aristotle v You see we're political beasts and I wanted to draw dino...

Friday night at kollektivet Geo

2010-09-24T12:01:00.001-07:00

For shame

2010-09-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

I know this is not a very democratic thing to say but some people shouldn't be allowed to vote.

Not only are we now looking forward to 4 more years of seeing the rich getting richer and miserable more miserable but to add shame to the mess we will have to do it with a racist party like an ugly fucking splash of grease over what is already a decidedly unappetizing cake, exactly the type of cake that seems like a quick fix when you're starving which is why you're willing to disregard everything you know is bad about the cake but that will, once you've eaten it, make you feel sick, dirty and disgusting and only then will you wish you'd had a sensible fucking banana instead.

Congrats, Sweden.

What goes?

2010-09-17T11:15:00.000-07:00

On my back trying to decide whether it'd be a greater effort to move to the PC or install the Office Package on this computer. I'm also considering Open Office because then I wouldn't have to move but would still be able to work on this PM I've taken it upon myself to finish. The problem with the last option is I don't like Open Office. The problem with the second option is I have no fucking idea whether my Office will work on a Mac. The problem with the first option is I'd have to get off the couch and find a pair of slippers because it's colder in my bedroom than it is out here.

I should google the compatibility issue.

Cloudberries

2010-09-15T13:01:00.000-07:00

The sweetest crossing in town

2010-09-14T10:44:00.000-07:00

Going home alone? Take me with you!

Movie Night

2010-09-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

We waited and waited for the clown and it only made a brief appearance at the end. Very disappointing, clown-wise. All in all though it was cozy in a 80s, survival of the virgin kind of way.

Yesterday we killed a few hours getting through the first season of Deadwood. Not a productive way to spend your day off (aka "reading day") but... well, as a rule productiveness is not the standard mode at Kollektivet Geo anyway. Not that we don't sometimes get things done. Truly.

What else? It has been agreed upon that I seem to have come into a period of excessive susceptibility to bouts of profoundly shallow affections. In fact, if you're kind of cute and I don't know you enough to have reason to dislike you, chances are I'm having a crush on you. To demonstrate the extent of my current condition we may take Deadwood as an example. Naturally, I have a bit of a crush on Seth Bullock. This is not surprising since it is an awesome character and Timothy Olyphant is fucking gorgeous. Watching Deadwood yesterday though, suddenly all these other characters started to look not at all that bad. Dan, the smarter sidekick, big and cuddly, strong yet sensitive. Kind brown eyes. Al might sometimes seem revolting and evil but he does have his charm and (occasionally) good humor. He's also God and Godfather of Deadwood and maybe he turned out bad because his mother dumped him with that bitch mrs. Andersen. Long story short, I caught myself trying to get a glimpse of the native american head being slung around by its hair to see if the guy used to be attractive. You know, before someone cut his head off.

Maybe having a cold brings out the love in me.

Good morning, Ume

2010-09-07T00:39:00.000-07:00

Hot milk, honey and nutmeg

2010-09-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

That kind of day. If this hadn't been such a day it would have been a pretty good day. Unfortunately, my throat is sore and my nose can't even smell the lovely picked chicken carcass(!) left in the kitchen for my viewing pleasure. My foot has not improved and I'm torn between letting someone have a look at it and waiting another week hoping it will fix itself. I do not like going to the doctor, I hate taking up their time and I hate being told to take a few pills and chill.

Enough about that.

I started my excess course today and was pleased to discover that not only have I already read all the course literature - including the recommended further reading which was not even published last term but since my then essay supervisor co-wrote it we got to read an early draft - but I actually remember most of it. Now you might be thinking, why read what is basically the same course twice? Well, folks, it's the same course but under a different name. It's like pop, you keep writing the same song over and over only you give it a new title.

I should probably knock on wood for saying those things (takes a minute to consider whether desk is made of real wood and then reaches up to knock on the bookshelf instead).

2010-09-03T03:02:00.000-07:00

Limping

2010-08-30T08:42:00.000-07:00

Mysterious pain in foot. Will work out anyway. I limped 1,5km here so I suspect if I can just get on the bike it'll be fine. Or good enough so I dont have to get off because I hate quitting. Maybe it will show the pain that Im not afraid and it'll go away.

I need to justify being here right now.

A week disappearing on the horizon

2010-08-26T12:20:00.001-07:00

This is not the best of photos but to sum things up I got Red Dead Redemption, borrowed a PS3 and not surprisingly the stuff is addictive. My favorite part of today's playing must have been going to Mexico and getting myself a dirty, ragged poncho. My gringos back home will be impressed.

Tomorrow I'm having my brother over for lunch and after that Karin and I are going shopping... well, I think it'll mostly be me doing the shopping but she is a most highly valued moral support companion. Then, on Monday, my first course starts. Farewell summer.

Last weekend in the forest

2010-08-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

Demo, the near mythical four-legged ninja of Hemmislake! Looking sharp. We stared down a couple of motorcycles we came upon in the forest and they looked mighty scared. Who wouldn't be though?

Reading Neil Gaiman's American Gods. It's as rare as a good feel-good film only it's a feel-good book and it's actually good. Gaiman is Elins favorite but this is the first book of his I've read. Makes me wonder why Elin isn't reading Chuck Palahniuk. With what I've got from American Gods Chuck would be something like a dirtier version of Neil since in addition to being humored and feel-good:ed you'll also be just the slightest bit disgusted, depending on which novel you read. Elin, I know you do not shy away from the dirt so get busy reading.... after the exam(s). Of course.

Either way, I like these kind of books because it's all magical and cute and straight forward. I can snort and giggle and be entertained for a while. In the end though, when I put the book down it's not like I can't wait to get back to reading and find out what will happen. I could argue that it's also nice in a way to read books that I don't need to read. It's like a mosquito bite that you can scratch when you feel like it and then as soon as you stop scratching it stops itching.

Started watching an old favorite yesterday, The Quick and the Dead (Snabbare än Döden). Is this a parody? It's tacky as hell! I don't remember tackiness and over-the-top spaghetti western homages. I remember it being good. Still, seeing Russell and Leonardo from back in the day is a thrill. Sharon Stone was my favorite actress when I was little, based on her performance in this film and The Specialist. I even wrote her a fan letter once and right when I was about to seal it I felt like I should send her something so I stuffed a plastic fork in there. I didn't get a reply.

Eternity

2010-08-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago. Its setting was likely the result of playing Total War and Mount and Blade all summer. I was going to get someone, running around green hills and forests looking for the perfect spot for an ambush. I might've had an army with me, or been part of one. Either way, the battle was going bad and I decide to retreat. In Mount & Blade, when you retreat, your party looses morale and you have to compensate for your cowardice by giving them a loaf of bread or a basket of apples. In Total War, retreat brings shame on your family and weakens your standing with the senate. Can you see how (in my dream) this retreat didn't make me feel very honorable? I felt like something of a looser actually which is why - when making my way back to wherever - I was laying low and trying to avoid running in to people, including survivors on the home team. My luck runs out when I come over a low hill and into a glade surrounded by tall bushes. Pacing back and forth is an older man in a generals uniform. Pulse racing, I attempt to make it across the clearing without attracting the old fuckers attention. There's something eerie about him, something that makes you think he's been pacing like that forever (I assume he's a ghost of some sort). He sees me of course and on his face is this look of almost desperate urgency, sort of like I'm about to walk into a burning building... but also like I just slid off his dinner plate and tried to make a run for it. Stalking towards me, he suddenly pulls out a dagger and stabs himself in the side. Around us there is now this great ball of really tacky lightning in colors of red and pink, imagine something you'd see in the Warrior Princess and you're getting there. Leaving the knife tucked in there between his ribs the ghost general walks up to me, grabs the front of my shirt and yells in my face "ETERNITY.IS.SILENT!". The he just pushes me away and I get sucked into space...

I feel like he was trying to tell me something.

The Expendables

2010-08-12T06:11:00.000-07:00

I let out the happy squeals watching the trailer today. Look at that Stallone face! Damn but this is going to be awesome.

Back in, looking out

2010-08-07T07:54:00.000-07:00

Lady comes in, says she's booked a luxury beach house. Internal dialogue "oh hell, this can't end well". 15 minutes later, lady comes back. Her shower is dirty, how is she supposed to relax on her vacation when she has to spend all her time watching the little ones so they don't go put their fingers in someone else's old menstrual blood? If she had wanted that she would have gone to a public bath house!

Omfg! That damn menstrual blood getting everywhere! I mean... GOSH!

The slow road home

2010-07-31T11:49:00.000-07:00

Let's talk entertainment!

Elin was right of course, Before they are Hanged was not better than The Blade Itself. Maybe I just don't get it. BTAH felt like an echo of TBI with the same scene rolling over and over only the set's painted differently.

I've also had Peter Straub's Ghost Story lying around the lunch room the entire summer, progressing some 2 pages a week I'd say. The fact that it fails to scare me is quite telling in itself, seeing as how I'm afraid of most things. What I like least about it though is the main characters. I'm sure he was going for the cigar smoking, old-school, leather armchair ass rubbing type of gentlemen someone must find fascinating with their sensible wives and the cock-teasing floozies thrown in to remind us about the goodness of those wives. Don't everyone just love a macho man who's reluctant to admit he's a little bit concerned (when half his friends have suffered weird deaths in the last year) and therefore admire him even more when he does admit to being something other than utterly manly and unafraid?

I have a lot of anger in me...

Speaking of macho men, when I ran out of Deadwood episodes (I can't say there was a real ending) and still hadn't had my fill of Timothy Olyphant in a cowboy hat I went for Justified. Apparently the series is based on some popular short stories by Elmore Leonard. It's all centered around Raylan Givens, a trigger happy U.S Marshal who's recently been reassigned to his Kentucky home town after having shot a mobster in Miami under questionable circumstances. While the series takes place in modern times, Givens looks and behaves like it's the turn of the (last) century. His idea of law enforcement involves lots of shooting, threatening and beating people up. To make matters even more Bruce-eque, he has an ex-wife who dumped him because he was too into his job.

Nothing much is new with Justified but just like I like Bruce Willis and his textbook dirty cop characters - with a puppy beating deep down in his heart - I like Timothy Olyphant as Raylan Givens. Also it doesn't hurt that he is somewhat easier on the eye than Bruce. No offence to Bruce, he has his thing going as we all know. Olyphant is actually in Live Free or Die Hard with Willis, as I just now recalled. That is a damn good title by the way.

People are angry with me because I don't have enough cash to let them make a withdrawal. I feel like a beacon of complaints sitting here. 20 minutes and the lights go out. Sail on.

Overslept

2010-07-23T12:22:00.000-07:00

Outslept the alarm, that's two hours of snoozing. Headache, sense of being useless. Cleaned kitchen, exercised and went out for a ride in the afternoon. Torn between wanting to do something and read my books, watch my Deadwood and drink my damn milk. Or tea perhaps. I don't like it when life is living me but I don't have the drive to take charge right now. Everything's too fast and too slow, I'm too concerned and too indifferent. That and I've got the smell of tar stuck in my nose.

New fancy...

2010-07-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

The waist....

2010-07-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

So, I was going to order some equestrian pants because unlike the cowboys (and girls) I don't think riding in jeans is very comfortable with seams in all the wrong places. So I browse through a catalogue and find a pair that looks decent at a fair price. Normally I would just order a size M or 40 and hope for the best but then there's mum going on about the importance of measuring and I'm thinking sure, considering I haven't bought a pair of riding pants in 10 years it might not hurt to do some measuring.

On the size guide for those particular pants it says you have to have a 70cm waist to fit into a size 40. Assuming the waist must be at the height where the pants would be, roughly a centimeter below the belly button, that's where I wrap the tape measure.

90cm. I squint at the size guide again... the largest size they have is 46 and to sqeeze into that you can't measure more than 81cm around the waist. What this means is either I'm too fat to be a size 46 or I'm not doing it right. Coincidentally, my waist at its narrowest is 70cm. Fine, but who wears their pants just below the rib cage? It's damn uncomfortable and it gives me a tummy ache!

Irritated now, I go on a google safari to educate myself on the waist measuring issue. After a while I find a new type of BMI calculator, this one based on hip and waist measurement. This calculator kindly tells me I'm at risk of heart/coronary disease and that I might suffer a premature death because of my waist-hip ratio something something. I'm appalled until I read the text saying how if my "normal" BMI is good the results of the calculations will be misgiving. Since me weight-height BMI is 22.5 I decide to move on from the waist-hip BMI and pursue the other theory of me measuring wrong and that it is indeed the narrowest part of the waist you're supposed to measure.

More googling for size guides. Next one I find they have 90cm as a size XXXL. The next place it's a size 46. On these guides it even says you should measure around the place where you would normally wear you pants.

WTF!!???

Hot hot hot

2010-07-12T04:25:00.001-07:00

Spent the last hour trying to speed up my computer and I'm not even sure it helped that much. The last straw was yesterday when it took 20 minutes and several huge fails before I managed to open a movie.

Earlier I was out on the field because mum wanted me to photograph the horses. Unfortunately they were occupied chasing each other and the dogs, with the exception of Democratos here who happily posed for a few pictures while flinging the occasional nervous glance towards his tormentors. One of them in particular has been bullying him quite a lot and the biggest hurt, as mum likes to say, is that Democratos and Dreamboy have been life long buddies and it was only when a girl was introduced to the duo that the betrayal came about. With all the shit gingers have been taking recently in the media it wouldn't surprise me if Demos color scheme had something to do with it.

Veggtårta

2010-07-11T04:41:00.000-07:00

2010-07-06T10:24:00.001-07:00

Prince of Persia was interesting, towards the end I was so uncomfortable I couldn't stop grinning (telltale that one). Anna had some difficulties accepting the new, buff and manly Jake Gyllenhaal and instead kept seeing him as 'Brokeback Jake'. Even so it was nice hanging out with my favorite cousin and her (sisters) very awesome, hush puppyesque velvety shoes. I also got a few random hugs from people I haven't seen in a while which was cozy, I don't get nearly enough hugs in my everyday life.

What else? Oh, Caesar got stabbed 23 times today! I knew Brutus was allegedly involved in the plotting leading up to Caesars murder but the character was kinda likable and I thought maybe the HBO scribblers would have a different take on it but no. All in all, everything went to shit in the last episode of season one. The drama! Luckily the brute stayed out of trouble for once.

Since Anna so kindly lent me a saddle (a most comfortable one too) I decided today was as good a day as any to try riding one of our horses. I've been torn between wanting to ride and not wanting to get hurt for a while now. Fortunately, Democratos was very well behaved and although he seemed to think the saddle and its 65kg accessory was somewhat weird he took it very well. No broken bones today.

Now we're waiting for some guy to dump a big heap of gravel out on the driveway so we can shovel it out all nice and even. Entering the final stages of project yard makeover.

Blood and sand

2010-07-05T10:15:00.000-07:00

I watched an episode of Rome once on TV and decided it was boring. Too much intrigue and not enough action, thought I. Fortunately I've been hearing a lot of good things about the series since and eventually I got curious which was most fortunate since it is indeed supremely entertaining and not in the least boring. It was a little disappointing when the big battle scene became a blurry montage but to be fair it would have been more disappointing had the big battle scene been a bunch of miniatures pushed around on cardboard painted over with poor CGI. Okay so I'm not sure exactly how that's done but I respect them not going there.

Tonight we're going to see Prince of Persia and I'm not expecting anything impressive but hopefully it's shiny and entertaining the way Disney can be. It's nice not working, even if I've spent the day shopping dog food and sowing the lawn...

Dirty work

2010-07-05T03:58:00.000-07:00

Skickat från min HTC

With the drawing again...

2010-06-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

There's a good reason why I don't draw a lot of people, I'm simply no good at it. Usually it just pisses me off whenever I try. I prefer motifs that are less real, preferably bizarre creatures or weird scenes from my internal narratives, originally derived from wherever. If you don't have a reference you can't be too wrong, or something like that.

Self portraits are as far from fiction as you can get. Not only are you real, but the idea that you have of yourself and the way you look is usually not a truthful representation of how you really look. It's fine to walk around thinking you look a certain way but when you're drawing yourself and you actually have a reference there's no cheating. This is why it's fun but also why it's occasionally frightening.

For example, I know that I have a square jaw, big front teeth and a little bump on my nose but these things are mostly blurred out of my daily life. Attempting to draw yourself is like staring really intently at every line, every shadow, every highlight, every angle etc etc of a picture and doing it for a couple of hours. Then, even after all that staring you see x and draw y. It's like my mum pondering on how it is that she knows exactly what a horse looks like and is still unable to draw one. Where's the fault between your brain and your hands or between what you can see and what you can reproduce?

And I was going to watch Rome tonight.

Light problems, dark solutions?

2010-06-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

It is as I feared, I'm having some serious issues with being almost blonde. Some people may not know this but what grows out of my scalp is more gold than brown. After an unfortunate incident, involving purple hair dye and an 8-year old me, that color has remained hidden. Truth is though, being a fake brunette is a lot more work than being a fake blonde. It is somewhat acceptable to have light hair with dark roots but try having dark hair with light roots. You look bald.

To me, brunettes have always seemed superior to blondes, they look smart and mysterious whereas blondes look ditsy and gullible. Blondes are the Others. They're the crazies and the decepticons, the stormtroopers and the agent smiths'. The transition now that I've joined the other side has been slow and if I can't adapt in the next few weeks I'll just have to go back to the home team. What a waste though.

Moving on, I finished The Blade Itself yesterday. The first thing I really noticed about this book was how the author writes kind of... ugly, for lack of a better word. I'm sure he could be as proper as anyone else but it's actually quite alright getting hung up on a few sentences when you know someone decided to write a certain way and stuck with it despite objections that must have been raised on the road to publishing. Good for you Abercrombie.

The second thing was how there really wasn't anything that kept me interested. I enjoyed some parts and snorted merrily during a few of the more absurd passages but it failed to touch deeper. Among the praise cited on the cover was "delightfully twisted and evil". Now I don't know what kind of books whoever wrote that has been reading but the only thing I found that seemed evil in a delightful way was how nonchalantly he allowed his characters to be unlikable. Certainly it's true that real people are rarely all good or all bad but if I can't root for someone, what am I reading for?

Edit: I sounded really mean there. Truly, if you've been reading my rants on books here, you know I'll probably read the rest of the trilogy and love it.

2010-06-23T01:23:00.000-07:00

good day

so you dont want to hear about my good song?
and you dont want to hear about how i am getting on
with all the things that i can get done
the sun is in the sky & i am by my lonesome
so you don't want to hear about my good day?
you have better things to do than to hear me say

god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took out the trash today and i'm on fire...

so you don't want to hear about my good friends?
you dont have the guts to take the truth or consequence
success is in the eye of the beholder
and its looking even better over your cold shoulder

i'm not suggesting you up and line me up for questioning
but jesus think about the bridges you are burning
and i'm betting
that even though you knew it from the start
you'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart

so go ahead and talk about your bad day...
i want all the details of the pain and misery
that you are inflicting on the others
i consider them my sisters and i'd like their numbers

god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took up croquet today and i'm on fire

i picked up the pieces of my broken ego
i have finally made my peace as far as you and me go
but i'd love to have you up to see the place
& i'd like to do more than survive i'd like to rub it in your face.....

My new baby

2010-06-20T13:30:00.001-07:00

This is a Wacom Bamboo and it is fantastic. We just got familiar with each other today and so far I'm thrilled. After sitting patiently through the interactive tutorial, basically learning that it works like a touch pad and that anyone with a lap top/touch phone can skip the tutorial and still manage the bamboo just fine. The only complaint I have is that while the pen is pressure sensitive, harder pressure equals larger stroke rather than higher opacity, as it would with a 'real' brush. This was surprising and it could be it's just me not finding the proper settings, either way I can live with it since PS has plenty of options in that area.

It's still not like pen and paper drawing but it is at least 70% easier than using the mouse in PS. Sometimes when I get everything just right the strokes are amazingly pen like and hopefully those times will come around more often as I get used to this. All in all I can highly recommend this device. I think we are going to have a lot of fun together.

Horsie here is the first sketch (proportions borrowed).

Now I need to get some sleep. Less than 8 hours and I'm off to work again.

It's a dog eat knife world

2010-06-20T10:40:00.001-07:00

Harry has a thing for chewing on knives, his favorite is the black and orange fish fillet knife pictured above. It's a small wonder he hasn't cut himself yet.

People have been really sweet this evening *knock on wood*. This and the small miracle that is all the numbers adding up with not a coin in the wrong place (!) has made me feel quite good about my job today. A few minutes ago I was strutting around back in the office with an almost cozy feeling inside, fuelled by the smiles of happy guests and a merciful register. The anticipation of the alarm clock going off at 5.30 tomorrow morning is suddenly less angst ridden. I'm also eating chocolate, which helps.

I just got a call from our sister establishment and they asked a question. It was a minor question and one of little importance that accorded me no prestige (in being able to answer it) but still, we have a good natured, slightly pitiful internal thing going...

Other than that, the sun is out and it's absolutely beautiful and I'm waiting for security to roll in so I can tell them to be nice to the outlander that has actually payed to stay the night out on the parking lot.

We meant for it to be there...

2010-06-14T14:20:00.000-07:00

Meet Anne

2010-06-12T05:41:00.000-07:00

And don't forget the alarm

2010-06-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

Work-related things I had forgotten since last summer:

- Norwegians definitely assume we understand them as well as they understand us. This is not the case. Curious though, why should we be easier to understand? Are we simply lacking some language gene? Or, does the perky cuteness of norwegian somehow make it less understandable? Also had a woman laugh for half a minute when I called @ a "snabel-A" as it is called in swedish, nevermind the fact that norwegians call it "alfa-krull".

- When germans ask you if you speak english this does not necessarily mean that they do.

- Telling kids the automatic gate could crash on their heads will not scare them off from playing with it. Telling them it's worth $10 000 and you'll remember their faces apparently does.

- Swedens national day(?) is June 6.

- People expecting you to figure out what to do with their fish is not unusual, indeed, it seems perfectly reasonable that the keeping of the dead fish should be your responisbility.

- If the vehicle fits between the gate and the building, you just drive on through.

Get bit - and you're it!

2010-06-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

Had to take a break from my blogging to fetch a witness. There is something behind the wall in my room. I started hearing really loud scratching sounds just a few minutes ago and sneaked downstairs to get dad. Of course by the time we got back upstairs it was silent but would you believe, after a few moments it started again. Dad think it's something in the chimney (like a bird) but as I've mentioned in a previous post, mum and I are going with the bat theory. Bats in the closet... bats in the closet... and werewolves on the telly. Good night, Linda.

Familiar view

2010-06-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

First day at work. There was the three of us (Geo) taking mediocre care of some 10 guests, mostly foreigners. Things didn't get more effective when the net we're on crashed, leaving us without modern helpers such as phones and computers for most of the day. Sometime before lunch a hungover Elin got kidnapped by an angry man who drove her away in his car with the doors locked. Fortunately, she came back.

The other home

2010-06-04T00:25:00.000-07:00

Skickat från min HTC

First of the year

2010-06-02T12:15:00.001-07:00

Had a tiny farewell party today with ice cream and strawberries. Not only will I not see my people over the summer, chances are we're not taking the same courses next term. Although Malin and I are doing this crime scene archeology course later on. Since it lies outside of our main courses we don't even consider it a waste of money, its really more like we're getting more education for the money....

Zombie Stomper!

2010-06-01T13:42:00.001-07:00

by Iron Fist

the right way of wrong

2010-05-31T13:25:00.000-07:00

I was nurturing some anxiety today, doubting my abilities, my personality, my motivations, my choice of nail polish etc etc It's not so easy to know oneself. The way this anxiety business works is; Me. The me -- through an unfathomable onslaught of thoughts, perceptions and instincts -- taking endless advice from myself because if you think about it I am all I can really hear (and never mind where I got the information). Myself have been known to put out some serious misinformation. Major sidetrack here. What matters is I was feeling anxious today and every now and then I grow damn tired of making myself anxious.

I could make a very long list of destructive ways to deal with anxiety. The self-destruct gene was no doubt imposed on our predecessors because this one, hairy, semi-sapient half-ape felt bad about gulping down the last wolf-berry and was busy rubbing his forehead against a ragged rock face while the rest of his pack got eaten by something unpleasant.

Instead, I opt for the pep-talk. Not the "I'm good at this" or "I have pretty eyes" kind of pep-talk but more like a general motivations pep-talk. An inspiring pep-talk, you might say. Since this is my blog however, I do not guarantee that anyone besides myself will find any inspirational value in what I am about to type.

Enter: the right way of wrong. It all started a few years ago when I got back a storyboard for a short from the anonymous grading factory at what was at the time my Uni. When I drew it up I was being intentionally difficult. I drew that storyboard the way I bake cookies, knowing full well that a little bit more of that, an additional ingredient, less time in the oven, a greasy bowl etc etc will likely fuck up my cookies I still have to do it. It's more important for me to do the cookies differently than it is to produce edible goodies. That's the wrong kind of wrong, btw. In the comments section of that storyboard, X had written something like "you know the classic narrative conventions well enough to break away from them". If I hadn't - in theory - been able to do it right, I wouldn't have done it wrong as well as I did.

To some, it might seem like a waste of time learning to do things right just so that you can do them wrong. This is not so. On the contrary, breaking rules simply because you don't know how not to is random, unintentional and might even be interpreted as plain ignorant. This one thing has become an underlying theme soldiering on like a relentless turtle on the trail of my motivations. Without a hero there is little use and little recognition to be had as a protagonist. What I mean to say is, I ought to learn how to make proper cookies (what would be generally regarded as edible cookies by others than myself). One batch of normal cookies before I can rightly look upon my special ones with pride.

These days, when I have to learn something new that I'm not particularly excited about, either because I simply have no interest or because I'm somehow opposed to it, I motivate myself with the thought that by learning I earn the right to disagree, disobey or be difficult in general and I gain a reference point..

Now to bed. We're thinking strawberry premier tomorrow, salad buffet and -- if the sun shines down on us -- maybe even some Bale sightings.

This is not an overreaction

2010-05-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

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Sexy bitches @ kollektivet

2010-05-29T12:45:00.001-07:00

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2010-05-29T04:27:00.001-07:00

My mood match the sky today. I feel slate gray, grumpy and like I should have a headache but I don't, which is a good thing. Malin sent a text around noon asking questions about alcohol. Shit, right. We might be going out tonight, but mostly because our favorite Goldilocks from the deep gothic forest up west is finally coming down here on a weekend. We've been taking the same courses for a year and still haven't had a chance to have a drink together.

I'd say we finished writing our paper yesterday but finished might be too optimistic a word. We turned it in though, that we did. In keeping with the tradition, we gave it an excessively colorful title and were mighty pleased with it too. The girl who played with Silence. Yes.

Saturday in colors

2010-05-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

There were some seriously mean and chocolaty creations on the table this weekend. I kept to my JD & coke though, something that bright can't be good for you. We also had some weird guests and a few incidents ranging from peculiar to bizarre, as it should be. With the exception of a pair of seriously flawed handcuffs no one got hurt (that I know of) and everyone made it out. A few of us took the shortest route and this time it wasn't just the money, and lack thereof, but rumor had it the med students had a sitting at KK. Under the influence, med students acquire at least 50% more desirability (not specifically because THEY are under the influence, if that wasn't clear). I'm not sure why this is but I suspect my sober, rational self is better aware of the fact that in reality doctors are usually no better looking nor more interesting than people from other professions. The drunken brain on the other hand relies on stereotypes, easily accessible (socially constructed) information and instinct. Thus: doctors -> wants one!

Didn't find one though. I never do.

Thank you, Russia

2010-05-21T01:05:00.000-07:00

For seven days now we've had July in May, they say it's because of a very mysterious and peasant-romantic ringing phenomena called the Russian heat. While in the south of Sweden they will wriggle into their short-shorts in April of any given year, us northerners usually can't ditch our thermo pants until midsummer. If I had owned a pair of short-shorts (which I probably would if I wanted to) I would be strutting around in them now because this last week has been unreal.

The weather people say it's 18 degrees Celsius but it feels like 30. I tried jogging a couple of days ago and nearly got a heat stroke (it turns out it was more like a heat rash). Friday night Elin and I sat on the balcony with a glass of wine waiting for the thunder and when it came it was the scariest sounding thunder I've ever heard, it was like Greek thunder but happening in Sweden so it was even more terrifying. If Thor and Zeus would be playing that carnival game where you hit beavers popping their heads up through holes with a wooden hammer it would sound like the thunder did Friday night.

So, the weather has been nice. Unfortunately, the sun doesn't always agree with me since I'm very fair skinned and get rashes and headaches if I'm not careful. What I should have been doing this week is working on our paper, which might be called something like Media discourse on the criminally insane or Media depictions of the offender and psychiatric disorders or stabbed by schizo in the welfare state but the truth is we're not entirely on the clear with the direction of this. I blame the heat.

What I have been doing is this;

It's been years since I've played video games and I'd forgotten how addictive it is. When I go to sleep at night I hear cannons and arrows, wood chopping serfs going "why don't you get on somebody else's nerves?" and other phrases like "remember who you're dealing with, I am the king!" or "I will do that, by the caliph!"

Yesterday six hours flew away while I chased bandits around. The accumulated hours devoted to my Settlers addiction must be horrifying. I have two theories why I find this game so captivating. One; it has a cheesy back story that has very little to do with the game itself but is enough to make me believe that I am a participant in some kind of interactive fairytale. Two; the pace is such that I have to keep up. Playing WoW (yes, I've tried that) I mostly wanted to walk around and talk to people, forming alliances and being social in general. In short, WoW was me playing Spy vs. Spy on the C64, and collecting sticks, only 18 years later.

Sorry, Edward...

2010-05-20T02:14:00.000-07:00

... but this is true

Classy!

2010-05-18T04:32:00.000-07:00

Lion to lamb...

2010-05-14T03:00:00.000-07:00

Went to see Ridley Scotts Robin Hood yesterday and the girls seemed to approve, Elin definitely giggled (the loudest) whenever the jokes got dirty. It's one element worth remarking on in this movie, the humor. I even giggled myself on occasion despite a headache that had me wincing and moaning whenever the sound got too loud and it was too loud most of the time (how old am I?!). On the one hand, cheers, most people like to laugh and I am certainly no stranger to the occasional, accidental laughing fit forcing itself out in choked snorts during scenes that aren't necessarily meant to be funny. This was not one of those, this had canned laughter noted in the script. It was not quite Pirates of the Caribbean funny, though I'd put it in the same group as Lord of the Rings in terms of intended funny, regardless of the actual amount of funny appearing in the movie or the success rate of that funny.

This brings us to the other hand, jokes can make a joke of things. I had been expecting something dark and gritty and 20 minutes into the film I wasn't disappointed. The movie starts (well it's actually the 2nd scene) with King Richard looting his way back to England after his crusade to the Holy Land. It's not a happy place, gritty enough, if not exactly dark. Then something happens and suddenly it's all bright colors and jokes, I wont (and can't) explain the transition but it took place somewhere between France and England. At this point I had, with growing trepidation, noted the absence of gore. From a marketing perspective this makes sense and sometimes it even works (LotR is a good example), but to me, what it says is "family film" and that tells me to expect an experience equivalent to what I expect when I buy frozen dinners, seasoned in such a way as to be tolerable for everyone; you can eat it but it's nothing special, it's not all that it could be.

I could go into a rant about historical inaccuracies but I have seen plenty of that elsewhere, besides I don't really know enough to complain. Would like to know who thought it was a good idea to premier the film at Cannes though, I have a vague feeling the French will not approve of the way in which they are depicted in Robin Hood.

Dear old Robin

2010-05-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

Dug up, rinsed off and polished: shiny and new (referring to the fictional character, don't know if anyone's ever used those words to describe Russell Crowe). Tonight, anyway.

The cats are gone (back home) and I have been cleaning, I've been cleaning hard.

I really don't have much to say... nothing comes to the surface... maybe there's nothing below... maybe there's something but it doesn't come out till dark. Oh shut up.

Leonard is singing:

Like a bird on the wire
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free

Like a worm on a hook
Like a knight from some old fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee

If I, if I have been unkind
I hope that you can just let it go by
If I, if I have been untrue
I hope you know it was never to you

Oh, like a baby, stillborn
Like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me

But I swear by this song
And by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee

I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch
He said to me, "You must not ask for so much"
And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door
She cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?"

Oh, like a bird on the wire
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free

About those...

2010-05-08T00:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I finally got the read Douglas Clegg's Neverland, such as has been my wish for at least --oh well-- two weeks. But still, I had wanted to read it. It's about a shack in the woods where kids go to worship Lucy (hehe) and this shack, their clubhouse, is called Neverland. I am horrible at this but basically it's meant to be scary and critics and readers have both been overall quite fond of it. With the way I've been looking forward to reading it, of course it wasn't that good or even particularly scary for that matter. Chances are, if my flatties (is that a recognized slang?) had been home it wouldn't have been scary at all. In fact, had no one at all been home Neverland probably wouldn't have bothered me. But someone was... the cats. Pictured in the previous post is Amazon and Pretty (something something) who are both known by other names but I forget. I admit to being a bit skittish when it's dark, cats or no cats. Knowing, however, that sooner or later after having left my bedroom I am going to get startled by glowing eyes from behind the couch -- or something making cat noises and jumping off the kitchen counter -- does a real number on my nerves. It's the suspense. it's the knowing but not when. Same way whenever I have Vega with me and I just know that at some point he will come over to the bed to check on me and, sweet as he is, that knowledge makes it hard to relax. Anyway, in the end I hung out in my room until Tiny came home around midnight and provided some kitty distraction.

Knockin' on my chamber door

2010-05-08T00:31:00.000-07:00

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Yes

2010-05-06T00:12:00.000-07:00

Reading and writing...

2010-05-05T01:31:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned in a previous post it took me a while to get over my... bitterness after reading Toll the Hounds. It seems people generally consider that one among the more slow moving of the series and that may be true, but I was too preoccupied with a sense of disaster looming behind every page to really notice or be bothered by the pace. I had no such distractions while reading Dust of Dreams and it was slow. It was written as part I of two novels that will be the last installments of The Malazan book of the Fallen, part II will be called The Crippled God. So basically Dust is half a book that is 1200 pages long. Being half a book, it has no real ending and I guess being, technically, still only half way through the pace might improve in The Crippled God.

Then there's this... co-creator of the nerd paradise that is the Malazan Book of the Fallen, Ian C. Esselmont's Return of the Crimson Guard. The Crimson Guard, a mercenary company, is mostly a legend in Steven Erikson's storyline with only the odd character making any real appearance. In this novel things are pretty much just reversed with the Guard being at the center of things while some of Erikson's main players throw in a brief appearance here and there. In one way this is interesting because you get to see more of the characters active behind the scenes in Erikson's work, characters that, presumably, he had no room for in his storyline (he has enough, trust me).

On the other hand it's disturbing and confusing. If I would sum up the plot of The Crimson Guard it would appear as being little different from Erikson's novels, as in things happen the way you might expect them to happen and the narrative as a whole seems to follow the same flow. This is not enough, as writers, they are not playing in the same sandbox.... in fact, the sand in their sandboxes was likely shipped in from different continents. It's not for me to say one is better than the other, but Erikson and I seem to be reading with the same parts of the brain active while Esslemont has a way of making every other sentence into a riddle and being something other than the most ambitious of readers I have a way to space out when form demands more attention than meaning. Said she and wrote a sentence likely to suffocate anyone who does not stop to breath on his/her own initiative.

Anyway, there's things in this book I want to know so I read on and will probably get straight to reading Esslemont's Night of Knives when I'm done because again, I am curious. My whining aside, this is all relative. Esslemont is still writing the crap out of many authors, just not Erikson. You must think of it the way you should think of it when I am less than fond of a particular nin song.

How many psychologists does it take to assemble a grill?

2010-05-01T04:43:00.001-07:00

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That time of the year....

2010-04-30T00:38:00.000-07:00

Today is Valborgsmässoafton or Walpurgis Night. What happens on Walpurgis Night is swedes everywhere light bonfires and get wasted. Also, the witches fly to Blåkulla.

We're going to have an indoors picnic because it's cold and raining and then we'll have a balcony barbecue because it's cold and raining and then we're going to watch the bonfire unless it's too cold and rainy.

I don't believe I have to energy to consume alcohol all day and stay awake. We shall see.

You can 12-step off, bitch. You're dismissed

2010-04-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

Harsh Times
This film deserves a review. My brother recommended it to me last summer so I watched the first 10 minutes, and then I gave up. I can't remember what it was exactly that scared me off... although, thinking about it, the 10 minute mark might coincide with Eva Longoria's first appearance. Never mind. I bought it last week and Tiny and I watched it a few days ago.

Christian Bale is Jim Davis, a 27-year old vet living in LA, keeping a girlfriend in Mexico and suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder, the kind of PTSD that PTSD would look like as a caricature. Here, I made an illustration for your benefit:

Anyway, in addition to being mentally unstable, Jim is also a douche bag. Imagine a white boy in his late twenties saying things like "Damn, those are bad ass kicks, dawg! You're lucky you've got little bitch feet, or else I'd be stompin' around in them motherfuckers!"

Jim wants to get into the LAPD so he can make some money and bring his mexican beauty into the country and marry her. Unfortunately for Jim, the feds want to recruit him to pop drug lords in Colombia instead. Jim's best friend, Mike, is being pushed around by his sugar mama lawyer wife Sylvia who thinks he should get a job. Jim is a terrible influence on Mike.

Before I put everyone off further, I'll move on from the plot. The thing that make this film so good is that you just know something terrible is going to happen, every scene is a build-up to disaster and the longer you hold your breath the greater the disaster you're expecting. Tiny and I were moaning throughout the film, half miserable. It was sort of like how I'd imagine it'd be like not wanting to look at an accident site by the road but not being able to look away. It's all going to hell and you know you don't want to be there when it happens but you are and then you're scared because it's not going to be pleasant. To sum this up, another quote, this one from a scene where Jim is speeding down the highway like the drunk maniac he is and Mike tells him to slow down "Fuck you, God! You ain't got the fuckin' balls to take my ass!"

M.I.A

2010-04-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

M.I.A, Born Free from ROMAIN-GAVRAS on Vimeo.

Memories

2010-04-24T00:31:00.000-07:00

This is nearly as fun as it was 15 years ago! Unfortunately there are no visible pigs at the farms anymore (visst minns du, Anna?). Not very good animal keeping, is it?

I had also somehow never understood or later forgotten the part where you actually fight things... I generally prefer building and hoarding my wealth but it's not easy when you have to keep an army because people come and burn down your farms. But then I got in to it and was feeling pretty smug with my hero, 4 surviving soldiers and a few militia that had proved themselves excellent skirmishers. Of course my useless ally then had to go and get his fort burnt down by bandits and somehow that put me out of the game as well.